Raising your hand in 2020. High-five to you graduates! My commencement speech of 2019 repurposed.
Dear 2020 Graduates,
Congratulations on your academic achievements. Your family, community and millions around the globe are cheering you on to find meaningful purpose on your life’s journey. I gave the 2019 commencement speech below with the desire it would spark graduates to pursue their purpose.
Let me know your hopes, dreams and concerns, and what if anything in my speech resonates with you – and what I missed too. I hope to hear from you. cary@cinderellaceo.com
Sending my heart to all of you.
Preparing to Give Yeshiva Commencement Speech for Katz School Graduation 2019 NYC
Katz School of Science and Health Commencement Speech
Cary Broussard
May 15, 2019
Thank you, Dean Russo, for your kind introduction. And thank you for inviting me to speak in front of the graduates today.
Graduates, it is my honor to be here. A huge congratulations to each of you!
My name is Cary Broussard. — I am excited to tell you a little bit about how I strive to live my purpose – to create workplaces with integrity open communication and provide the best opportunities, equally, for all.
My work requires courage, conviction and a strong voice — but I promise you I was not always so courageous. I’ve taken some big risks, had many “aha moments” and definitely relied upon the deep support of others, things I believe we all need – in order to be successful and live our purpose. Today, I'd like to share a different part of my story — the part before I became the owner of a successful business, an author and speaker.
STORY
Looking back now, I always believed my parents really, really wanted a boy. You see, I was their 4th girl. When their 5th child, my little brother was born, they finally got their boy! I probably had a bit of a chip on my shoulder and was more than a tiny bit jealous.
Don’t get me wrong: I loved being a girl. I went to all-girls’; grade school and high school. But I was also impacted by society’s underlying expectations of women — pervasive myths and beliefs that tell girls and women that we should remain small, quiet, and doubt our own voice and value.
When I entered college, I had not attended class with boys since kindergarten, which was a big stretch of my life. I was literally afraid to raise my hand in my college classes because there were boys in every one of my classes – for the first time.
This experience was a pivotal moment for me: How could I grow to my full potential when I was afraid to speak in front of men? How could I provide for myself and be successful in the work world when I was taught never to discuss money? It was clear to me that I had a lot of unlearning to do.
I also realized very quickly that I was not the only one with these feelings I had; so many other women experienced this too. When I attended my first global women’s conference and met women from all over the world, I discovered that we were raised with similar values. I listened to women from India and Japan and elsewhere describe how they grew up and their family’s and society’s expectations of them. While values like honesty, integrity, and faith were universal — all of us had also been taught to let the boys win, to not be too ambitious, and to never discuss money.
And myths like these don’t just impact women.
We place unrealistic expectations on men, too – expecting men to be the only breadwinner, to be tough and never weak, to never show what we call “feminine” traits like nurturing, collaboration and empathy.
More broadly most of us have internalized limiting beliefs about ourselves and about people we perceive as different from us. We do this across race, across gender, across nationality, ethnicity, age, religion — and I’m sure you can think of many more.
I knew that these beliefs about women and men not only sounded old school crazy, but they were holding societies back in significant ways with huge personal and societal costs.
Undoing these myths became my personal and professional mission. But putting this conviction into practice took time and required me to take big risks.
TAKE RISKS
When I first entered the business world, I quickly saw how these myths not only impacted individuals — but also major business decisions. When businesses neglect to consider women’s buying power, or the buying power of any underrepresented group, they miss out on enormous potential markets. And when leadership operates without valuing collaboration, inclusion, and empathy for all — great ideas are simply lost in the competitive shuffle.
When I was a mid-level director in a hospitality company, I was smitten with the idea of marketing to women travelers. Since this was late 1995, (although the year could easily be 2020), many inside the company thought the women’s market was too small and inconsequential to pursue. Many of my peers and several higher-ups simply did not think marketing to women was a good idea; men were the majority of our travelers, after all.
Many said our competition would be laughing at us (come to find out – Sheraton, Hilton and other big brands actually did think it was a silly idea). Internally, one executive nicknamed me — VP, “in charge of skirts” — a nickname I did think was pretty funny, but it was also intended to diminish the significance of my efforts.
This is the thing about taking risks and challenging conventions — no matter what issue you choose to tackle: not everyone will be on your side, especially at the start. And you will have a choice to make. You can give up in the face of opposition, you can cave into your opponents’ negativity, or you can stand firm in your convictions, arm yourself with facts and allies, and press on. You can strive to exercise empathy and understand your adversary’s point of view, and you can challenge that point of view by presenting smart, clever, and brave solutions.
Sure, there will be times you won’t win this way, at least temporarily, but it does not have to be the end of the story. You can learn from your mistakes and come back stronger than before. And more often than not, you may find that the adversary may prove to be an unexpected and important ally in the end, especially when you go out of your way to treat them well. It’s quite an accomplishment of character to hold your head up even if you are maligned or double-crossed — This quality of character is incredibly valuable in the long-run.
FINDING SUPPORT
When I encountered push back — and even anger — I diffused it with facts and with a sense of humor. My team and I gathered research that proved marketing to women was a smart strategy financially. I was driven. And over time, I began to gain supporters — eventually hundreds of supporters. Women began thanking us with their letters and emails and most importantly with their business — and media began covering our work. I knew we were onto something, even though many remained suspicious.
And through this, I began to see that support and collaboration are the antidotes to the status quo, the most important ingredients for making change.
The idea of marketing to women business travelers required a team of